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I heard afamiliar voice from distant past, one that is mildly Spanish accented."Good morning, beautiful," it said. "Don't be upset, but somethinghappened that only one of us may be happy about."I opened my eyes and as they came into focus, I saw an older version ofsomeone I knew long ago. He possesses the looks and physique of MarioLopez. I thought it was some very realistic dream. But I was awake andsomething was off. Typically that much sexiness - in dream or real life -would invoke a campsite in my underwear. It didn't. I did feel somethingelse down there, though. Do you know the feeling when your junk istwisted up and you're seated in front of a group of people and it's goingto be too obvious to adjust it? Well, it was like that, only... moist?"You have become a woman."I could feel my brow contort. The thought of my new reality wasn'texactly horrifying. No. I had thought - nay, fantasized about this sinceI was fifteen. In fact, it brought a crooked smile to my face."I guess. No more fantasizing of pianos and a home filled with love, safety, warmth, and family. All of these are merely dreams that can never be and if I hold onto them then I will never know peace. We will never be together and I know that, with every bit of my being, I know it but God, how do you let it all go? Something so strong and sure? How do you implore your heart of hearts to see reason and allow yourself to heal? How do you tell it to speak with your head and actually listen? To understand that this pain, this appalling heartache, could and will happen again if I continue to do this to myself. I know my dream is a warning of what will, undoubtedly, come to pass for me and that it is yet another attempt at my head trying to bombard me with rationalism. This fact is what holds me back and what keeps that impossible dream lingering. I understand that it is only my mind rehashing the trauma and fear in order to protect my body from further damage. Knowing this gives me hope that.
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